Speaking our truth is vital for our health. Women may not speak their truth, or speak up at all, in order to prevent an argument or attack, keep the peace, or refrain from hurting feelings.

   Women have not always been raised to speak their truth or to speak up at all. Often times, women have been raised to be silent.

    I raised my own daughter to be wild and unruly. This I did primarily by allowing herself to just be. I never imposed upon her the idea that she not speak her mind. That she conform to being “nice.”

That being said, my daughter is probably one of the most polite and respectful kids on the planet, with all her elders, her aunties, uncles, and kupuna. With me, of course she falls apart, but this is to be expected and a part of the honor and privilege of being a mother.

   Parenting daughters has changed in America. Was this because more mothers began going to college, gaining a higher education? Education plays an important role. We know that educating women improves the health and wealth of the entire community.

    Amal Clooney seems to concur in her UNICEF ad, “holding back women is holding back half of every country in the world.” So the question is, how do we let loose our women? How do we free, foster, and encourage women to speak their truth? 

    What I have learned is that speaking one’s truth is a skill like any other, to be practiced. A first step can be awareness. This may be followed by the question of how to do it skillfully. It is very possible for us to learn how to speak our truth clearly, honestly, compassionately and nobly.

    It is a huge accomplishment to grow aware of our own wants and needs, particularly if you grew up or live in an environment where your wants and needs are dismissed, belittled, minimized or ridiculed. To survive, you may have unconsciously learned to suppress what it is you truly want or believe, it may be you were trained to not make waves, to cater to the needs or desires of others first, to place yourself second, if at all. It may be that silence was a very good survival strategy, as it prevented you from being beaten up emotionally or physically.

   You may feel like your voice is rusty and squeaky, scratchy and uneven. Lubricate it with milk and honey, begin the practice of using it, your voice will become smooth, capable, confident, and even.

    Your voice may or may not have been allowed by your parents, spouse, religion, or culture. Begin here, with this awareness, and move forward with self-compassion. Completely accept, approve of and appreciate yourself. The truth is that you are an important part of the equation. The only one you truly need permission from to speak your truth is you.